Hey everyone. So, to dive right in, yesterday was a very tough day. I don’t really share that much about my private life on the blog, but for those of you that have been following me since the beginning (2008) or have seen my photos on social media, you know that my family and I had a dog named Barney. He was the love of our lives and we are struggling to come to terms with what has just happened. If you’d like, you can read on…
Barnaby, or Barney as we called him, was a lab mastiff named after my Grandmother’s maiden name. His middle name was after my Grandfather’s first name. Barnaby Francis Cameron was the type of dog that had such a strong presence not only because he was 145 pounds, but because he was that kind of pet (read: family member) that had extremely positive energy and an entertaining personality. Let’s just say there was never a dull moment.
I won’t go into great detail, but since early May, he had been struggling with cancer. I have kept this painful part of my life under wraps over the past few months because well, it’s been a crazy emotional rollercoaster and it has been hard to talk about.
When we found out, my parents did everything they could to lessen his pain and make him comfortable, but his body just kept getting attacked from all sides. The amazing thing was, he still showed great tenacity and spirit, even a level of peppiness to the very end, especially when he was surrounded by the people he loved. But the decision, which sadly my parents had to make yesterday, to finally let him go, was the right one. It has been hard to come to terms with everything, but the fact is, when someone or something is in so much pain, if you truly love them, there comes a time when you have no choice but to let them go.
My family and I are devastated, in shock and can’t believe this happened to him at the young age of 6, but are attempting to find some reprieve in the fact that, like I mentioned, he is no longer in pain.
I like to imagine him running free in doggy heaven, chasing balls and making new friends, because believe me, wherever Barney went, he made immediate soulmates withe everyone around him.
My takeaway from all of this is, the crazy thing about life is that it doesn’t stop moving around us. But when you experience a death, especially when it involves someone very close to you, your world stops, yet everything else around you appears to be the same and keeps chugging along, almost without you. It’s the strangest and sort of most awful feeling. Can any of you relate to this?
Anyway, I could write a novel about him and all the things I adored about him, but I think I will let Barney take it away…
Barney as a baby in November of 2009. Even as a tiny puppy, his paws gave away how big he was going to be. :)
This was taken in 2011 and is one of my favorite photos of Barney and my Dad. He sat like this, happy as a clam, no complaints. He loved being touched, pet, hugged, whatever it was as long as their was physical contact. He considered himself a lap dog and would go to any extreme to make that happen. See an example below…
I love this photo of him because he looks like he is just grinning ear to ear. :)
What a snuggle bug. I would always sneak him into my room at home, get him onto the bed and this is what would happen. True love and cuddles.
I have a million photos of Barney but I thought I would end this post with this classic Christmas card photo that we took of him one year. He looks so handsome, refined and pretty majestic I don’t say so myself. Here’s to you, Barney, my love. I know you are running, frolicking, prancing free, chasing after all the of the balls and making everyone around you a million times better. Thank you for blessing us with your presence. We love you. xo
P.S. It’s Casey’s Birthday today, so I do want to say…Happy Birthday, my love. Can’t wait to celebrate with you all week/weekend long. xo